Welcome to Mepka.com this is a site that I made as a result of being 'renamed' Mepka, but then of course I had to add a little more to that name so it ended up as Mepka's Monkey Butt.
Sat, 24 Jul 2004
Posted at 13:29 #
1. Do not smell bread or some other object that has small crumbs that can get caught in your nose. It was a rather traumatizing experience; at least I didn't need medical help (thank god, because that would have just been embarrassing.)
2. Don't dip yourself in egg yoke, roll around in bread crumbs, then run around screaming "I'm just a piece of meat" as you jump into the lions exhibit at the zoo. I promise you this will not end well.
3. If you hear word of a terrorist bio-chemical attack, don't try to save money on plastic rap by taping it air tight only around your head. It isn't one of those times where you should be cheap.
4. Don't duct-tape your siblings to the wall unless you have a well thought out procedure on how you're getting them down.
5. Don't try to break your own, or any other sort of record, that involves drinking a gallon of milk and then running around the block timing how long it take you before you throw up.
6. If you are standing in the middle of the road, and a car is coming straight towards you at a high speed, don't expect them to stop. Take the time to move your body out of the path of the motorized vehicle.
<7>
7. Finally please don't attempt any of these things the results suck no matter who tries them.
Advice
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So you feed the kid fish... makes you wonder what this game teaches children. And would electric current really flow up fishing lines?
I love games where you get unlimited tries.
I'm sure you've all played this one, but it's still a good waste of time.
This is an off take of the one above, I just want every one to know that this is awful. This isn't very nice to penguins but it's still some what entertaining, it's nicer than the one above.
I'm not really sure what you are in this game. I didn't get past the 2nd level but that's probably just me with my inability to play computer games.
Fun Games
If you have time, which you probably don't, and if you should be doing homework, and you would rather not, then you can check out some of these games. *WARNING* These are stupid, pointless, strangely addictive games.
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The cling is a really good British band. If you like hot British guys, with sexy accents and good music you should go to thecling.com that will solve all of those problems fast.
Jolly Good
Mepka
Posted at 13:29 #
Some Really good Quotes and sayings
Anyway just found some really great sayings and Quotes and thought I should share them
There ain't no devil, ther'e just God when he's drunk.
I imagine a world of love, peace, and no wars. Then I imagine myself attacking that place because they would never expect it!
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
Who's cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they get up in the morning that's the best they're going to feel all day.
"My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex".
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
Camouflage condoms: So they won't see you coming.
"It's me and you against the world. So when do we attack?"
I drink to make other people interesting
"Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer each, and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making any sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned."
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.
Eat healthy, exercise more, still die.
A friend is someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
99% of all people in the world walk around with blinders on. The other 1% walk around in total amazement
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
We spend nine months trying to get out, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." - Plato (427-347 B.C.)
Luv Mepka
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I'm not suicidal I just have a sick sense of humor
We were just lying about talking to our friends, when I randomly said "wouldn't it be funny if the ceiling started to collapse and we all died?" From this remark I got many strange looks, but they weren't enough to stop me from continuing "and it's this brand new structure and we would all be running around and screaming" this second statement didn't seem to make the strange looks subside.
One of my friends looked at me and said
"you're suicidal" my response was
" I'm not suicidal, suicide is when you kill your self, not when a gym collapses on you"
It was Monday and I had 4 days left of school. I'm sure you know that basically nothing important ever happens in middle school a week before summer. I found myself lying in the gym after a long day of watching a movie, going swimming, returning and being given two air heads (ingredients sugar,corn syrup, and other natural and unnatural flavors) even though we weren't supposed to eat in the gym.
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Gone for good?
It may just be me but dont you hate that feeling when you
have a really great time in a place and you don't want to leave
but than you have to and once your home for a few weeks you
start forgeting things that happened when you were away. I
hate that, all the memories are bluring in to one big flash
thats like the worst thing ever. Its one thing to forget about
something bad, its another thing to forget the good things.
any way thats the Mepka update for now talk to you later
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Falling monkey turds
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Aside from all of that, I have been working on
My Screenplay. Read it and let me know what you think.
Monkey Butt and the flying cantaloupe from mars had a little incident yesterday. It seems that the donut sniffing poodle caught up with us as we daringly raced fiendishly around the neighborhood. Ya, right that's not exactly what happened but it may be closer to the truth.
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presedentail campaign 1996
Posted at 13:29 #
HOW TO GET A GUYS ATTENTION
There is always the sad first attempt; this consists of walking around school looking like a dork. However I have tired this before and the results are minimal. If you are going to try this, make sure you start off small, if that doesn't work than resort to wearing fins and a polka dot swimsuit. You have to be fully committed to looking stupid for this to work.
Another way that I have found very helpful was when I brought a 2 foot long piece of celery to school and started hitting him with it. If you are going to attempt this masterpiece way of getting his attention you may find it helpful to yell something like
"Pay attention"
Whap
"Can't you see I like you?"
Whap
"I'm fucking obsessed"
Whap
You can continue this procedure until he either falls madly in love with you, or the veggie you are hitting him with falls apart. Following this advice is guarantied to get attention from the guy you like (I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing).
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Wondering about last names
I sometimes wonder why anyone would ever want to be addressed by their last names, like teachers. Well get this I had a substitute, and his last name was Ball. But he didn't write Mr. Ball up on the board, he wrote Steve Ball. I wonder why?
Luv Mepka
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I guess I could focus on the worst feelings, like when you have to wash the dishes or take our the trash, but that just seems so negative.
1. finaly lieing down to fall asleep when you are totally exosted. Then waking up on your own accorord. By your "own accord" I don't mean being forced awake by the loud 'beep beep beep beep' of your alarm clock. By your "own accord" I don't mean by hearing pots and pans banged together as your brother and sister try to start a band. By your "own accord" I don't mean having your father play your trumpet in your ear and telling you to do the dishes. By your own accord I mean waking up some 12 hours later and being all energized and happy. That is one of the best feelings ever.
2. Going to the bath room after you have been holding it for longer than you thought was physically possible. Just that long releving feeling. The feeling that if the world were to end right then you would be perfectlly content.
3. Sitting outside with the sun making you the perfect temperature, and the sky is all bluse and the trees green with the birds singing. (yes, this really has happened to me I'm not creating some utopia where the world is perfect.)
4. Sitting in the class you hate most, preparing for the worst. But then by chance of a mirical the gods seem to take pitty on you and make the time pass almost toloerably.
Best feelings
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Animals
I think that you would officially be awesome if you've heard of any or these animals before. Some of their names just go against all common grammatical teachings I've been raised with.
this is the coolest cat I have ever seen, he's got like a big tail....
He looks like a mini llama, but he also looks like he was photo shopped.
One of those names that goes against common spelling ideals. Wonder what thoughts were going through the person's head who named it. "Hmmm... lets name this animal, but we wont call him a Zebra, or Elephant. No, no, we'll only use 4 letters, but we'll use the same ones over and over again." He's really ugly, and yet strangely attractive.
This guy just looks cool, like a taste of the wild.
I don't know about you but it makes me want to save the animals. Or at least rename the tigers, lions, and bear, and give them cool names like krerbbells and duhndodo....
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